Sunday, February 16, 2014

Snow Interruptions

Well, I was off to a pretty good start, but when the snow hit, I found that I did not want to keep track of what I was eating. It was not that I did not want to eat better any longer. Far from it. The desire to be more conscious about what I ate was still as strong as ever, as well as the more wistful and infinitely fainter hope that I would lose weight by making better choices. The problem was that I was ashamed of what I was eating. Being cooped up inside, all while snow raged outside, made me want to eat everything in the house. I am convinced that there must be a biological basis for this. In terms of the ancient world, large snows probably meant famine of some kind, and increased desire to eat was a hedge against starvation. However, in the modern world, it's hard to justify eating an entire bag of potato chips because you were bored, cold, and had a craving for it. I also did not exercise at all during this period. I mostly stayed in bed under the covers.

Aside from the emotional dimensions of eating, I was also a little tried of keeping track of everything. The nature of my current lifestyle means that I tend to eat a lot of meals out, which frankly, is related to where I live (lack of full kitchen access) and whom I eat with. (The "whom" part means I eat with people who also eat out and would be hurt or insulted if I begged off as much as I would want.) It turns out navigating a change in food is the same as navigating a change in behaviors that have social, economic dimensions, as much as will-power.

It might sound strange and counter-intuitive to say, but my meals out are a function of my poverty, something else which I am trying to come to terms with as well. Poverty is a root factor in a lot of the dimensions that affect choices about food - i.e. knowledge about food, relationship and access to certain foods or equipemnt, attitudes towards food, etc. You can be affected by a thing and still not know just how much it can affect you.

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